did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
