Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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