Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
