I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
