Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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