Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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