i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
