dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
