Sponge bath it is.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize