Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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