my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
