I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
