420 ftw
this will be a night to untag.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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