i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
