I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
