i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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