He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
