Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
