smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
