Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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