so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize