There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
