doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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