um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
