Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
