Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
