So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
