I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
