i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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