I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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