so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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