That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
