Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
