Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
