i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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