He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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