where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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