i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
