Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Mom said you looked used
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
