id be glad to
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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