i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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