remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
