Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I deserve this hangover.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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