at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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