Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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