So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Randomize
