his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
