he told me I talked like a deaf person
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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