Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
