i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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