I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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