Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
