If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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