I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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