as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
