sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
