They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize