my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
