nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
