I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Operation Purity has been aborted
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
