But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
