that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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