I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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