Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
