all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
