no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
