make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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